The Michael Rosen Rap is a poem from Michael Rosen's book The Hypnotiser.
Official description[]
- "I wrote a book of poems for children called 'The Hypnotiser' some years ago and then it went out of print. I couldn't get anyone to reprint it, so I asked my son Joe to film me performing the book."
- ~ Michael Rosen
Characters[]
- Michael Rosen
- Connie Rosen
- Unnamed Physicians
Plot[]
In it, Michael starts out explaining that you the viewer may think he's happy, sad, crazy, or mad and then tells you to hang on to your seats as he's going to tell you something that will burn your ear.
Then Michael tells you the day he was born (May 7th) and how he remembers that day describing it as awful; he mentions while in Connie Rosen's womb while he was curled up tight in Connie's womb it was as dark as night, he also mentions that in Connie's womb there wasn't anything to do and that he also didn't want to breathe. Then Michael hears a shout from Physicians "one push Mrs. Rosen and he'll be out," Michael was puzzled by this, Michael responded confusingly how they knew that he was male, understandably one of the Physicians responded with "Good lord he can talk!" Michael then pops his head out of Connie and tells everyone in the room to watch him walk, Michael then explains how he juked and jived around the Labor and Delivery room.
Michael then tells you about mostly incredible feats he's accomplished when he was from the ages of 1 through 10. Swimming the English Channel at the age of one, eating a soapy flannel at the age of two, becoming thinner at the age of three, eating the dog's dinner at the age of four, playing drums in a band at the age of five, eating a bag of plums at the age of six, robbing a bank with his sister at the age of seven, becoming the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom at the age eight (despite needing to be a minimum age of 18 in order to run for Prime Minister in the UK), closing every single school at the time in 1955 at the age of nine and "they" declaring Michael as King of the Fools at the age of ten.
Michael finishes the rap how about how that's what he is, that's what he be, then spelling out Mike and saying "with an" right before each letter and then calling himself "Mr. Mike, Mr. Michael, Mr. Rosen" and then "Mr. Me."
Transcript/Lyrics[]
The Michael Rosen Rap.
You may think I'm happy, you may think I'm sad
You may think I'm crazy, you may think I'm mad
But hang onto your seats and listen right here
I'm gonna tell you something that'll burn your ear.
A-hip, hop, a hip hop hap, I'm giving you all the Michael Rosen rap. (echo imitation)
I was born on the seventh of May
I remember very well that awful day
I was in my mother, curled uptight
But I have to say it was as dark as night.
Nothing to do didn't want to breathe
I was so happy, didn't want to leave.
Then I hear some people give a shout
"One push Mrs. Rosen and he'll be out!"
I'm telling you that was a puzzle to me
I shouted out "How'd you know I'm a he?!"
The doctor shouted, "Good lord, he can talk!"
I popped out my head, 'n said: "Now watch me walk."
I juked and jived around that room
Ba-lam-bam-boola-ba-lam-ba-diddy-boom.
A-hip, hop, a hip hop hap, I'm giving you all the Michael Rosen rap. (echo imitation)
When I was one, I swam the English Channel
When I was two, I ate a soapy flannel
When I was three, I started getting thinner
When I was four, I ate the dog's dinner
When I was five, I was in a band playing drums
When I was six, I ate a bag of plums
When I was seven, I robbed a bank with my sister
When I was eight, I became Prime Minister
When I was nine, I closed all the schools
When I was ten, they made me... king of the fools!
So that's what I am, that's what I be
With an M with an I with a K with an E
That's what I am, that's what I'll be
Mr. Mike, Mr. Michael, Mr. Rosen, Mr. Me.
A-hip, hop, a hip hop hap, I'm giving you all the Michael Rosen rap. (echo imitation)
Use in YouTube Poops[]
- The mention of plums, and the way Michael pronounces it, becomes one of the most common jokes used in poops, with plums sometimes spelled plamz. ThePlamzJoker and CaptainPlums' channel names comes from this poem.
- The seventh of May is Michael's only mention of his birth date in his poems, and has been used by YTPers as the official date for uploading the annual Michael Rosen Birthday Collab (though in practice this has not always been strictly adhered to). It is indeed his correct birth date.
- "A hip, hop, a hip hop hap, I'm giving you all..." is often used as a build up to Michael "giving" us something ridiculous (e.g. drugs in RandomAxe's Michael Rosen's Drug Business)
- Similarly, "but hang on to your seats and listen right here..." is often used as a build up to Michael saying something ridiculous.
- YTPers like to use the word "burn" (e.g. burn your house down). Sometimes, the "ear" in "burn your ear" is replaced with another body part (e.g. toenails/arse).
- The word "rap" in the opening could be replaced by the another word.
- The line "I was in my mother" is sometimes edited with the word "your" replacing "my", to make a "your mom" joke.
- Michael saying his name in the opening is very often used in YTPs.
- Poopers like to pause Michael's face during the 1:16 mark, if you slow down the video.
Trivia[]
- In the original book, one particular line of the rap was originally written as "When I was six, I ate a bag of rotten plums".