Fast Food is a poem by Michael Rosen from the book The Hypnotiser.
Plot[]
It is about a hamburger that decides to run away and explore while several people pursue him.
Transcript[]
Fast Food.
A hamburger sat in a hamburger bar waiting to be fried. "No one's going to put me," it said, "into anyone's inside, because eating me is cruel. Eating me is murder. You can't catch me, I'm the speedy hamburger."
So up jumped the hamburger and ran out of the bar. "Hey, come back here!" said the hamburger cook, "You won't get very far."
But Hamburger rolled out of the door and off down the street. Who do you think was the first person Hamburger happened to meet?
Lollipop Lady was walking home with a lollipop in her hand.
Fast Food - Kids' Poems and Stories With Michael Rosen
"Get out of the way!" Hamburger yelled, "I'm the fastest in the land!"
"Catch that hamburger!" the cook yelled out. So Lollipop Lady turned and gave Hamburger a shout,
"Hey little hamburger, you can't run away." But as Hamburger rushed past, he just had time to say,
"Eating me is cruel. Eating me is murder. You can't catch me, I'm the speedy hamburger."
Hamburger Cook, Lollipop Lady ran off down the street and who do you think was the next person Hamburger happened to meet?
Lemonade Boy with lemonade bottles was loading up the van. When Hamburger rushed past shouting, "I'm the fastest in the land!"
"Catch that hamburger!" said Hamburger Cook, "It's trying to run away!" "We're gonna catch the little-" Lollipop Lady began to say.
"I'll catch it," said Lemonade Boy, "I'm really fast." Just then, he heard Hamburger shout as it went hurtling past,
"Eating me is cruel. Eating me is murder. You can't catch me, I'm the speedy hamburger."
So Hamburger Cook, Lollipop Lady, followed by Lemonade Boy ran off up the street saying, "Hamburger, ahoy!"
Hamburger rolled and Hamburger ran and Hamburger couldn't be caught and Hamburger ran and Hamburger rolled right into an airport.
"Stop. Right. There." said Security Guard, "Where do you think you're trying to go?" "I'm just a little hamburger," it said, "and I don't know where to go!"
For a moment it stood in front of the guard and it darted past, "You won't catch me" he shouted, "you can't run very fast! Eating me is cruel. Eating me is murder. You can't catch me, I'm the speedy hamburger."
Hamburger rolled through the terminal and out onto a runway. It ran up to a plane to Jamaica that was waiting to get away!
The airplane took off and flew into the air and all the people heard something as they were standing there,
"Eating me is cruel. Eating me is murder. You can't catch me, I'm the speedy hamburger."
Trivia[]
- "Lollipop lady" is a British term for a female crossing guard, because the stop sign they hold looks like a lollipop.
- This poem is inspired by The Gingerbread Man, as the hamburger and the Gingerbread Man are both food which ran through pursuers.
Use in Poops[]
- Hamburgers are common foods in YouTube Poops. Especially when it's all rotten and old (e.g. "forty-eight year old hamburger").
- The "f" in Fast Food can be used to help make the f-word.
- Lollipop Lady and is mentioned in some YouTube Poops, usually as a character such as The Rosen Family Chronicles.
- Jamaica is sometimes mentioned in Michael Rosen YouTube Poops as a location.
- Michael imitating the hamburger flying away on the plane at the end is used sometimes by YouTube Poopers in order to imitate aerial crafts such as UFOs.
- "You can't catch me" is a common term in animated YTPs.
- Some YouTube Poopers even put in, "I'm the speedy Michael Rosen!"
- "Stop right there" is sometimes used by officer-based characters.